Older and older parents

30 years ago the average age for women having their first baby was about 25. Today the average age is 29 and increasing. This is a tendency showing a development in total contradiction to the midwives advices saying that physically it’s better to have children earlier. How did it become this way? What are we prioritizing before our own and our future children’s health?

I believe the first cause for this development is our standard of living. If you want to start a family, but are aiming for a successful life, there is a list of things you are expected to achieve, as well as a preferable order to do so. At first you need to get a good education and a permanent job. The next thing to do is to find a place to live, preferably a house of your own and of course a nice car. In addition to all of this, when you finally have your first child it will be very expensive, since you probably will feel a need of buying the latest fashion of strollers, clothes and other things for your baby as well as for yourself.

In addition to all the material needs, children are often seen as obstacles instead of resources. Many people think they have to live life, travel the world and go to parties before they start their families, since then they might be stuck at home for many years. It is very hard to believe
Maybe the most crucial cause is the constant search for the perfect partner. Media is sending out messages which are creating an illusion of “the perfect relationship” and what it’s supposed to be like. I believe, in a way this is a contributing cause for the increasing amount of divorces and separations. It’s hard to say, but maybe we give up too easy when times get tough, hoping the next one will be the ultimate partner. There is a big risk that years pass by and you end up alone or possibly with a partner but without children.

Being a young parent myself, I have heard all the arguments mentioned above. When I was pregnant with my first child, strangers felt free to stare and loudly express their feelings about me like I wasn’t a real person with feelings. Through my own experiences I know that you don’t need all the material things or a successful career to be a suitable parent. Despite this, the development over the last 30 years is speaking its clear language. It’s evident that even though the achievement of creating a family might be as important for us as for the previous generations, the world has changed.

We have reorganized our values and found new features in life to put on top of the list of goals we want to achieve. Since we are only human there are some physical limitations we can’t avoid. Therefore the question is not if, but when, the trend changes direction.